The Beginning - Part II

The initial installment of the Beginning post told our Deacon journey story. This second installment should actually be subtitled "God's Path" or even "Prayers Are Answered" - depending on your perspective. If you haven't read The Beginning post - it would be best to start there and then continue to read this post.

After graduating from WGU with my B.S. in Health Informatics, we decided that I would begin apply to various hospitals in south-central Washington (my baby sisters and step-father lived there) and in the Boise area as our youngest grandsons lived there and what grandparent doesn't want to watch their grandchildren grow up (go to games and special events)? We prayed that God would put us someplace where we would be needed. Ken wanted to be a Deacon - not just be called a deacon. He wanted to serve a parish that needed his service.

Nothing much happened in the Boise area except a lot of rejection letters. I call them that but they were much nicer than that. Most of them said "we found someone who fit our organization - see ya". So when I received an email from the director of IT at a hospital in the Tri-Cities, I was extremely excited but kept my emotions in check - just in case. After several weeks (interview and then an acceptance meeting), I was offered the position and I immediately accepted (Ken & I had talked about what had to be met in order to accept it).

I lived with my baby sister and her husband for 9 months while Ken put our house up for sale and finished up his instruction with our parish Deacon. He drove 100 miles, one way, to pick me up on Friday afternoons and drove me back on Sunday evenings. It was difficult but it actually worked very well for a temporary situation. I loved spending lots of evening time with my sister, but I did miss my husband quite a lot.

Finally, everything lined up and in February we purchased our current home. It would be another year before we actually sold our previous home; however, everything in God's time. Ken was obligated to continue at our "old" parish through Easter Sunday. After that, he was free to contact the local diocese and parishes to find his/our new parish home. After many phone calls and in-person meetings, it was decided that he would start at the Parish of the Holy Spirit. What we did not know at this time was just how much this parish NEEDED him.

The back story was very sad. Their "current" Deacon had just been put into hospice. Deacon Ron passed away just days after Ken began at Holy Spirit. Deacon Ron was so loved - that much was obvious to us both. Ken actually served at his funeral mass. The parish priest, at the time, was in his early 80's but was very mobile and thoroughly enjoyed his role at the parish. He loved this parish. However, he knew he could not continue indefinitely on his own - so they had several gentlemen from the parish trained and installed as acolytes. These men continue to be a blessing to our parish.

Ken arrived when he was most needed. It was the most amazing thing - but God can move mountains so he absolutely could move us a hundred miles south! Duh! Ken has been told that he was an answer to prayers but honestly, the Parish of the Holy Spirit has been the answer to our prayers as well. We have found a true home where we are needed, respected, and appreciated. And the love? Totally amazing and unconditional. We have the most amazing parish full of family and friends! We are truly blessed. I pray that every deacon and deacon candidate find their perfect parish as we did. Pray and then step aside so God can take the wheel. He's got this....believe me!

Faith from High School....Imagine that....

I have not been inspired lately to write anything special or meaningful; however, I do feel the need to write. Please excuse me if I get slightly off topic or if I am not making complete sense.

Inspiration is defined as: a sudden brilliant, creative, or timely idea! Just a small inspiration...a nudge perhaps....anything really!

Ahhh....let's talk about something controversial (this was my favorite kind of topic when I was young)....let's talk about abortion. I don't know about you, but I have always felt very strongly about the legalization of abortions (yes, I'm that old). The following is a true story from my "good ole high school years" - the stories I could tell.....maybe next time.

To preface this story you must know: 1) I went to high school in a very small town in Idaho; 2) I was a rebel in every sense of the word; 3) I graduated from high school in 3 1/2 years because I had to get that part of my life over with quickly; and 4) I had some amazing teachers in those 3 1/2 years. One such teacher was Gary Curtis. He taught histories and government. He encouraged us all to think for ourselves, do our research, and stand up for what we believed in. He died very young - it was heartbreaking - but he left a lot behind, including this teenager confident in what she believed in.

One class during high school included participating in a formal debate. Most topics were about current events. One such debate that I as involved in (remember this is in the mid-1970's) was on the legalization of abortion. With the supreme court decision in the historic 1973 Roe vs. Wade case just a few short years before, this was a hot topic - even in a very small logging community. Sides were picked in our class and I, along with a couple other students, found ourselves on the Against side of the abortion debate. Fine by me. I didn't believe in abortion at 16 and I don't believe in it now.

I remember that the debate began with opening statements and then a gentle back and forth banter between the two sides. We had an audience (the rest of the class) but it soon grew quite large when voices were raised and tempers flared a bit. I should have mentioned that this small school was designed with an "open concept" - meaning there were no real walls or doors - just room dividers and open space. So if one classroom got a bit rowdy, the other classes definitely noticed. This day was one of those days.

We argued - giving a few facts here and there but mostly hearing the spouting of the For group and how it was a woman's right to do whatever she wanted with her body - including killing a baby. Well, they didn't call them babies - they called them "it" or "fetus" but never personalized anything by calling "it" a baby. If memory serves me correctly, a friend of mine who had given birth and decided to raise the baby when she was 14 or 15 was also on the Against side of this debate. We were both adamant that all babies were, in fact, small humans and had rights, too. We repeatedly stated that this was morally wrong and that we considered abortion a "legalized" form of murder. We were not popular before or after this debate - not that that mattered much to either of us. I did not have the strong Catholic faith that I have today; or the wisdom and knowledge that I have now have after living several more decades on this earth.

But when I think back on this experience, I believe that I was Catholic since the time I was a young child and believed as a Catholic would through my teenage years and continuing into my twenties. Yes, I was a bit of a wild child; however, I hurt mostly myself and did not intentionally hurt others.

I knew I was missing out on something but it took me about 5 decades to find that missing "thing". I held on tight and here I am....knowing abortion, capital punishment, euthanasia are all wrong - morally, spiritually, and logically. Murder is murder regardless of the age of the person. I think the debate in high school was just preparing me to come into the faith later in life. I recently realized that God has been preparing me to be a Catholic my entire life.

Sometimes Life is Hard.....Perspective is Everything

There are times when I feel that I, yes personally, am being pushed aside in the name of service to the Church. I am human - I feel hurt and upset when my husband's ministries take precedence over mine or me. Don't get me wrong, my husband is an amazing man, husband, father, grandfather, and Deacon - but he is just a man. Neither of us is perfect.

So when I am feeling sorry for myself, I can do one of two things. I can either wallow in self-pity or I can pray for help from God. When Ken was ordained, I received a prayer card in one of the "Deacon's wife" gifts - I use it often:

Lord, 
I said "yes" when my husband was ordained a Deacon. The "yes" meant my support, my love, my sharing him as he serves our brothers and sisters.
Thank you for our marriage and our life together. I ask for your help in my supporting him in his service to others as a Deacon.
I know you love me Lord as your unique creation. You have gifted me in many ways. Help me to know my gifts and to use them wherever you desire - within my family circle, and in this world when I am called to love and serve others as Jesus did.
Amen

This is what I try to do each time I find myself feeling sorry for me. Pray to God because I am nothing without Him.

So if you are the wife of a Deacon (or Deacon candidate), I highly recommend writing this prayer down - it may be the lifesaver that you need one day (or today). God's blessings to all who read this.

Ups and Downs

There is often times when I spend hours alone at home. My amazing husband is very active with many ministries in our parish - RCIA, teaching 4th grade religious education, baptism classes, trains altar servers, and provides safe environment training - I am sure I am forgetting something but you get the picture, he is super busy. It is lucky that I like you read, write, research our family history, as well as participating in multiple ministries at our parish too. I am not complaining....I gave my consent along this journey for my husband to pursue his calling as a deacon in our beautiful faith. But it doesn't mean I don't miss spending time with my husband. I miss our motorcycle trips, our weekends at our son's with our grandsons, sleeping in on Sunday morning. But I would never ask my husband to give up the thing that he worked so hard for and is absolutely called to do - be a Deacon. Sometimes you have to give up a little to gain a lot. I feel like I am helping my husband get to heaven and helping to serve our amazing parish community. I love Ken, I love God, and I love our life together. Life is so good.

Faith - Blind or Otherwise

I used to think that faith was just something "out there" that you couldn't touch and you had no control over. I used to think it had something to do with fate or luck or karma. But faith is none of those things.

Faith is knowing in your heart that there is one true God - a triune God - three persons - one God. Faith is knowing that if you ask God to take you somewhere that you will be needed - he will do it. Faith is knowing that God will always have your back, no matter how many haters, negative folks, or just plain mean people are out to get you. Faith is something that has grown within me from the time I was confirmed at Easter Vigil over 10 years ago. And three years ago, I "let" God take control and take me where he needed me to go - where he needed my Deacon husband to go. He really didn't need me to ask as He had already been working in our lives to take us to the exact place that needed us at the exact time of their need. He took control of our lives 10 years ago and we have been happy, healthy, and helping others ever since then.

My outlook on life has never been sweeter. Even when bad things happen, I can see the good in it somehow. God has made me a better person - not that I was bad before, but he's made me more kind, more loving, more caring, and more in love with Him every day. God is the third person of our marriage and He has made our marriage the amazing sacramental vocation that it was meant to be. I cannot imagine my life without my sweet Deacon husband and God in it.

I have faith that my husband will be on this earth for as long as he is needed - by others, by me, I'm not sure. But I know God will only take him when He has to. But I also have faith that I will be with my husband, God, all the angels & saints, in heaven one day. This is not a hope or a fantasy - I have faith - I know that I will one day be with God in heaven. I may need those souls left on this earth to say a couple dozen rosaries a day for me so I can get out of Purgatory but I'll eventually get there.

I hope your life is faith-filled and full of love and kindness. God's blessings to all.

The Beginning...

My now deacon husband, Ken, was adamant – “I do NOT want to be a deacon”. He entered formation (lay ministry & deaconate formation were one and the same in our Diocese) for the coursework as he had such a passion to learn all he could about our great Catholic faith. His goal was to finish the coursework and “graduate” to be a “certified lay minister”.

We both studied hard the first 2 years and then I baled on him to pursue my B.S. degree. Ken was pushed to the far reaches of his comfort zone and often beyond. He enjoyed the reading and even the writing of papers – which was not his strongest skill at the time. For nearly four years he pushed himself, worked hard, and struggled to get through every single class required. Despite the struggles, he was very successful in all the coursework including public speaking, homiletic, and Theology.

Ken had been told for 4 years that he had “the heart of a servant” and would make “a fantastic Deacon” by others in formation and our parish community. But he kept pushing back and denying that any of this was true.

At the beginning of his 4^th year, Ken talked to the formation director about how he felt called to become a Deacon. It was received favorably by the director and the board, even though this was not the normal track of a deacon candidate. Once he had told the director of his calling, finally verbalizing to someone else what others had been telling him for years, Ken felt a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. His last year of coursework was surprisingly struggle free and not nearly as difficult for him as in previous years. He had felt God calling him for several years but had refused to listen. He prayed about it and finally allowed the will of God to show him the right path.

Even though my husband had finished all the coursework, we were still required to take the next year as our year of discernment. We continued with our required mentoring group and individual spiritual direction. Ken also started one-on-one training with our parish deacon. He continued to learn and pray and try to hear what God was telling him. We both asked God to take us where we would be needed and useful. 

Two years after he completed his studies, Ken was ordained as a permanent Deacon in the Diocese of Boise (Idaho). His mantra for those two years was “if it is meant to be, it will happen”. He put his faith in God. This is the best advice either of us could give any deacon candidate and his family – put it in God’s hands – pray and trust in His decision.

Life Happens

The other day, I ordered some undergarments from a website after spending an hour with my best friend of many years trying on said garments. They were scheduled to arrive Thursday - then I got notification that they would be delivered on Wednesday. So excited! Wednesday I raced home from work to nothing in the mailbox. But the USPS app said they had been delivered "at/in the mailbox". Nothing....mmmm....we're talking a substantial amount of money I spent so I was a bit panicky. I filed a missing package report with the USPS and waited.

Thursday the app said it was going to be delivered Thursday (although it still said Delivered, just like yesterday). I could only think that someone had stolen it right out of our mailbox because surely if someone got it by mistake in their mailbox they would have returned it by now, right? Since it was a Holy Day of Obligation, I attended mass that evening (of course, my amazing Deacon husband was on the altar). And wouldn't you know it, while reciting the "Our Father" - yes, at the ..."forgive those who trespass against me..." - I had an epiphany! If it was intentional, I forgave the person who stole it and wished them well with the expensive undergarments. If it was unintentional, I forgave the USPS person who mistakenly delivered said package to the wrong address. I felt much lighter as we left the church that evening....it was okay....it was just "stuff".

I slept amazingly that night and woke up refreshed and ready to face the day.....oh, it was Friday so nothing superhuman there! But ready to accept the fact that I might never wear expensive undergarments and I was okay with that. But at around noon that day, our Ring went off on my phone. By the time I was able to connect, the person had walked off so I watched the saved video.

An amazing young lady, very pregnant, brought a package to the door, rang the bell and waited for a response. Getting none (after waiting patiently for several minutes), she checked the address on the package to the house number in front of her and then placed it inside the screen door. I couldn't be sure but I just had the feeling that this was my missing package. I wished I could have connected sooner so I could have said Thank you! to this young woman. She returned not just my package (containing some amazingly comfy underthings) but she also returned by belief that humanity is generally good and kind and honest.

What did occur to me afterwards was.....the younger generation does not always check their mailboxes on a regular basis (like I do) so the package probably sat for the couple of days in her mailbox without anyone stealing it. Perhaps next time I will pay the extra for a more monitored method of shipping or perhaps I should just be patient and trust that the Lord will take care of things in HIS time.

God bless and have an amazing weekend. Until next time.