Faith - Blind or Otherwise

I used to think that faith was just something "out there" that you couldn't touch and you had no control over. I used to think it had something to do with fate or luck or karma. But faith is none of those things.

Faith is knowing in your heart that there is one true God - a triune God - three persons - one God. Faith is knowing that if you ask God to take you somewhere that you will be needed - he will do it. Faith is knowing that God will always have your back, no matter how many haters, negative folks, or just plain mean people are out to get you. Faith is something that has grown within me from the time I was confirmed at Easter Vigil over 10 years ago. And three years ago, I "let" God take control and take me where he needed me to go - where he needed my Deacon husband to go. He really didn't need me to ask as He had already been working in our lives to take us to the exact place that needed us at the exact time of their need. He took control of our lives 10 years ago and we have been happy, healthy, and helping others ever since then.

My outlook on life has never been sweeter. Even when bad things happen, I can see the good in it somehow. God has made me a better person - not that I was bad before, but he's made me more kind, more loving, more caring, and more in love with Him every day. God is the third person of our marriage and He has made our marriage the amazing sacramental vocation that it was meant to be. I cannot imagine my life without my sweet Deacon husband and God in it.

I have faith that my husband will be on this earth for as long as he is needed - by others, by me, I'm not sure. But I know God will only take him when He has to. But I also have faith that I will be with my husband, God, all the angels & saints, in heaven one day. This is not a hope or a fantasy - I have faith - I know that I will one day be with God in heaven. I may need those souls left on this earth to say a couple dozen rosaries a day for me so I can get out of Purgatory but I'll eventually get there.

I hope your life is faith-filled and full of love and kindness. God's blessings to all.

The Beginning...

My now deacon husband, Ken, was adamant – “I do NOT want to be a deacon”. He entered formation (lay ministry & deaconate formation were one and the same in our Diocese) for the coursework as he had such a passion to learn all he could about our great Catholic faith. His goal was to finish the coursework and “graduate” to be a “certified lay minister”.

We both studied hard the first 2 years and then I baled on him to pursue my B.S. degree. Ken was pushed to the far reaches of his comfort zone and often beyond. He enjoyed the reading and even the writing of papers – which was not his strongest skill at the time. For nearly four years he pushed himself, worked hard, and struggled to get through every single class required. Despite the struggles, he was very successful in all the coursework including public speaking, homiletic, and Theology.

Ken had been told for 4 years that he had “the heart of a servant” and would make “a fantastic Deacon” by others in formation and our parish community. But he kept pushing back and denying that any of this was true.

At the beginning of his 4^th year, Ken talked to the formation director about how he felt called to become a Deacon. It was received favorably by the director and the board, even though this was not the normal track of a deacon candidate. Once he had told the director of his calling, finally verbalizing to someone else what others had been telling him for years, Ken felt a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. His last year of coursework was surprisingly struggle free and not nearly as difficult for him as in previous years. He had felt God calling him for several years but had refused to listen. He prayed about it and finally allowed the will of God to show him the right path.

Even though my husband had finished all the coursework, we were still required to take the next year as our year of discernment. We continued with our required mentoring group and individual spiritual direction. Ken also started one-on-one training with our parish deacon. He continued to learn and pray and try to hear what God was telling him. We both asked God to take us where we would be needed and useful. 

Two years after he completed his studies, Ken was ordained as a permanent Deacon in the Diocese of Boise (Idaho). His mantra for those two years was “if it is meant to be, it will happen”. He put his faith in God. This is the best advice either of us could give any deacon candidate and his family – put it in God’s hands – pray and trust in His decision.

Life Happens

The other day, I ordered some undergarments from a website after spending an hour with my best friend of many years trying on said garments. They were scheduled to arrive Thursday - then I got notification that they would be delivered on Wednesday. So excited! Wednesday I raced home from work to nothing in the mailbox. But the USPS app said they had been delivered "at/in the mailbox". Nothing....mmmm....we're talking a substantial amount of money I spent so I was a bit panicky. I filed a missing package report with the USPS and waited.

Thursday the app said it was going to be delivered Thursday (although it still said Delivered, just like yesterday). I could only think that someone had stolen it right out of our mailbox because surely if someone got it by mistake in their mailbox they would have returned it by now, right? Since it was a Holy Day of Obligation, I attended mass that evening (of course, my amazing Deacon husband was on the altar). And wouldn't you know it, while reciting the "Our Father" - yes, at the ..."forgive those who trespass against me..." - I had an epiphany! If it was intentional, I forgave the person who stole it and wished them well with the expensive undergarments. If it was unintentional, I forgave the USPS person who mistakenly delivered said package to the wrong address. I felt much lighter as we left the church that evening....it was okay....it was just "stuff".

I slept amazingly that night and woke up refreshed and ready to face the day.....oh, it was Friday so nothing superhuman there! But ready to accept the fact that I might never wear expensive undergarments and I was okay with that. But at around noon that day, our Ring went off on my phone. By the time I was able to connect, the person had walked off so I watched the saved video.

An amazing young lady, very pregnant, brought a package to the door, rang the bell and waited for a response. Getting none (after waiting patiently for several minutes), she checked the address on the package to the house number in front of her and then placed it inside the screen door. I couldn't be sure but I just had the feeling that this was my missing package. I wished I could have connected sooner so I could have said Thank you! to this young woman. She returned not just my package (containing some amazingly comfy underthings) but she also returned by belief that humanity is generally good and kind and honest.

What did occur to me afterwards was.....the younger generation does not always check their mailboxes on a regular basis (like I do) so the package probably sat for the couple of days in her mailbox without anyone stealing it. Perhaps next time I will pay the extra for a more monitored method of shipping or perhaps I should just be patient and trust that the Lord will take care of things in HIS time.

God bless and have an amazing weekend. Until next time.